Anything for you mam!

Leave Seerat aside for some time. Lately I've been getting a lot of questions in comments from IITJEE aspirants regarding love life @ IITs.

NOTE: If you are really want to crack JEE, stop here, switch off your computer and don't visit this site before completion of your orentiation period at IIT.

Following text is complied after getting detailed feedback from current students at IITs/ISM/BHU.

For those who don't have time to read the entire post, here is the summary, in two lines.


*Remember, above reaction will not, under any circumstances, will become William "son" synthesis (pun intented).

#2: Remember, here girls make boyfriends so that they can learn quantum physics from you!

Now lets get to the complete post:

Most of you will come here thinking:

  1. Lecture will be interesting and eventful.
  2. You will be able to understand whatever prof. will tell us.
  3. You will find the course content easy(after all we are IITians, thus smart people).
  4. You will get good grades and marks easily as we used to get in school.
  5. Most importantly, there will be one "NEHA" waiting for us.
Now you guys want "NEHA" because:

1. You never had one.
2. You read "FIVE POINT SOMEONE" and you thought that it would be great to have one.
3. Basic instinct.

Love (*cough* LUST *cough*) Quest:

1. Lists of gals who looked even a little bit decent were made and night long "bhakchodi"aka discussions and plans of getting them were made.

2. Many of the dare-devils tried their luck thinking that it will be on first come first serve basis.Now,these guys have some interesting stories to tell of how painful their acts of dare devilry were .How cold was the response!
3. 2-3 of these guys got nick names for their whole stay here due to thesE acts.don't ask me to mention those events in detail and the names . I don't want to spray salt on their wounds by yelling out what conspired in public.

4. the talks about gals continued day in and day out.
talking to a gal .asking for a pen or a copy was thought of as an achievement and greatly celebrated and if somehow u got caught talking to gal explanation were to be given and a treat(we call it party!) was demanded.
soon picture became clear!(is it now even?)

  1. GUYS! if u want a gal in IIT go for her now!
  2. booking will close in one month and u will be left stranded.
  3. to tell u the truth these gals r shit!
  4. after iit you will get damn gorgeous item, forget these girls here!
  5. there r better ones outside the campus.
  6. don't ever think of a prof's daughter it's IMPOSSIBLE!!!!!!!!!!

few of them r not shit. they r quite good .i must say. But,this makes the task tougher.If u have a select 4-5 gals which r good and about 500 boys ...u know the price tag.i can't explain the screwed equation(sex ratio) any further.

and as we people researched we found they already r committed long before coming over here.
ha! that was not cool! u know.

days passed and guys around me became despos(desperate) tried radical things...and we got no surprises.

course load and assignments do not allow us to venture out and try our lucks..
so,few guys have started liking boys too. ;)

the dreams of that sunset,walking with NEHA in the lawns ,eating an ice cream cone.those lovely nice talks .those shivers that would have travelled down our bodies on touching her,those divine feeling of having someone special.that caring hand and that beautiful voice which would have got us going. all such wishes .our dreams have been shattered. into pieces...

yea yea yea!
hold on!

My First Crush @ ISM: Part 3

She dragged me out of the lab holding my fortunate left hand (My right one would have turned green in envy!)

"Hey, see I know it was none of your fault. Let's go and tell him" She said, looking in my eyes. I was about to get lost in her eyes, but the thought "why the heck shes helping me?" was not letting me do it.

I nodded and followed her to Prof's room. She knocked the door (I felt like a sissy!).

"Come in" A voice came from inside. We entered the room.

"You...You... get out!!!" he said, looking at me, in a repulsive tone.

"Sir, please listen to us!" She said

"There's nothing to listen" He said, balantly.

"Sir please listen to us!" She said, in voice so sweet that even devil would melt, so did he.

"Why are you speaking on his behalf? Is he dumb?" He said, softly.

"Sorry sir!" I said, for the first time.

I don't know what was in his face or may be the way he spoke, it always made me giggle and roll on the floor of my mind.I was trying to pose sincerely in front of him,making a baby face which I loved doing since school days.You got to have this skill ,if you too had those Naughty days in school as me, and u were generally at the wrong place at wrong times.

Seriousness,sincerity were never natural, I had to act,and ,at times i tended to overact.

"Sir he is sorry, let him go!" Man I was lovin' this! She was doing so much for me.

I thought it's over.The devil will let me free,he will forgive me for my 'Cardinal sin' of laughing at him and not listening to him sincerely. I was exulting and dancing in my head.Thanked her and blew kisses, all in my mind.

B, it never ends this easily for me .She was trying to convince him that it was not my fault and am just as sincere student as anybody is, she was facing those droplets of saliva on her pretty face, add to that this his bad breath and you can understand how hard was for her to go through that just for me, and there came one huge one and she sighted it and saved herself getting hit from that missile matrix style, I broke out and giggled loud enough to reach his old ears.

I think he was aware that he had this "Spray bottle" mouth from which those deadly fumes jet out, and people get annoyed by this.

Now,firstly she turned her face and then my giggle which was not musical, so consequence....

"Get out both of you!" He shouted, then he turned to her and said

"You too will face the disco! Be with him there!" He said.

We sneaked out of his room.

I was feeling sorry for her, she came here just to save me and now was in the same trouble.

But, I had no strength to say sorry, we walked a through that corridor and reached the lift.

"See these profs are like this and this prof is infamous over his irritability .My brother told me about few profs with whom one must keep extra care, else they can wreck u all over."

"Your brother told u about Was he in ISM too? I said interrupting her in between.

"Ya. he passed out 2 years ago, a Gold Medalist" She said with an obvious gleam in her eyes.

"Oh really? great!' I replied ,internally I was cursing my fate..who wants the brother of the gal you have crush on to be a 'STUD' ? It stamps your mediocrity.

I was lost in realizing how impossible was it to get her..

"Hey! HERO? where r u lost? do you have any plans, any excuse to get out of this? think!!" she said.

HERO? now what was that for. I looked around ,no one was there ,so it must have been for me. Now, first of all i don't look any HERO with this face ,add to that my messy hair, neither i had done any heroic act of mine in front of her, so perhaps, she was being sarcastic!

"Yea am thinking some way out of this. Sorry, I brought you on the same sinking boat"

"Theek hai Theek hai, it's not your fault,The prof is like this, old age and those books make them like this" She said smiling.

How devilish was her smile, a stark contrast with her pure voice, baby face those elegant ear rings, she was full of surprises and i was uncovering them; every moment.

"Yea true, whenever I look at him ,it gets hard for me to resist my laughter. Books and their frustrated life makes them so irritable " I uttered.

I had lots of to say about the profs but i preferred repeating exactly whatever she said. I was following the golden rule don't open your mouth too early and too much in front of people.

"Yea true" she said. I sounded boring to her,it was evident from her short reply.
there was silence for a second then she spoke
"Okie let us go to the lecture, we r already late! Hurry up" and I wanted those combined classes to go forever.

We had to go to the VIth block to attend the class. All the guys were looking at me in awe and envy when I entered the class with her.Man!! there is no better feeling to enter in a lecture hall with a beautiful gal by your side. It's just too satisfying to see green faces!!!!!!!

We took adjacent seats,were already late so had to sit in last rows.It is just normal for me, I have been a back bencher all way through school. Anyways she was there with me on the back seats, she took out her notebook and shifted her attention towards BS the prof was saying and i too did the same.

Though i never loved studying anything except Maths, Physics and Literature, I ,like most JEE crackers have this uncanny ability to concentrate on things and subjects which we had no interest in.

So, in that class too i was concentrating hard, but a sweet flowery smell was distracting me ,on my right adjacent to me was her; sitting so elegantly,gracefully, glowing face with child like innocence and filled with wisdom of the right and wrong!
Am I going over board in appreciating her? No! she is like this, in fact better.
I was immersed in her and she in the topic being done and there she took that pen in her mouth , thinking something, then she lifted her hand.
"ya..answer" said another prof

"Sir, first we draw that top view of the solid ..project on auxiliary plane....and..."

All of the students turned their faces towards her, and there was me totally unaware of the happenings, looking at her like a fanatic looks towards his 'idol'!
the class began to giggle, claps and all diverted her attention but not mine.(I was still immersed in her). She turned towards me, and i was taken aback. Looked away and then I realised i was the center of attention and all those guys and gals were going crazy, watching me seeing her madly.
I tried to compose myself, started looking at her again as if nothing has happened and she completed her answer.

"good" said the prof. I think he had not got anything . They r dumb creatures after all.

"hey! Why were you looking at me like that? These guys will make fun of you" she said, right after the class.

I avoided her eyes, I had no explanation to that, should I have said "You are so beautiful miss, I got lost in u"?
Hell No!!I kept my silence.

"Okay, take care of it next time, I have to go, give me your no. I will call you to discuss what should be done tomorrow in the DISCO".

I thought my ears are ringing, she said something else! How can a gal like her ask for my no.?

"No?? don't u have any?"

"yea..yea..sorry i was thinking of is it 987.......0"

"Thinking something, Yea already seem to be lost in something, you are a complete idiot!" She said, smiling.

I loved that, if a gal calls u an idiot so lovingly it is always a good omen!

"Meet me at the NESCKI at 9 PM ,I will be waiting for u and let me know what u have thought as an excuse, bye now!"

"yea sure..bye"

We waved a short bye and I walked back to hostel thinking all along the way if she had to call me to the nescki, why she took my no.?

I was of course on cloud nine, it was hard to touch the ground, the winds were taking me in those fantasy worlds. And it was magical, I remembered her devilish smile, and paused the reel in the memory to just look at her smile, with full devotion.

More Later....

NOTE: These are true events, with a little distortion or rather suppression of facts for obvious reasons.

PS: Don't post obscene comments, else you will get banned from here forever. I will rather block your ISP.


Hey guys, busy for a while. Next post may take quite some time.


My First Crush @ ISM: Part 2


Meeting came to an end, and I got all the information about her from my sleuths in Girls Hostel. Then under some "circumstances" I got many chances to talk to her (Which I never missed, wait... How could I?). Then few months later: One Morning:

"Saale jaag ja 8:50 ho gaya hai!!!" Mithilesh said with a kick

"BC, class to 9:00 hai!!" I uttered, while rubbing the impact area.

"Ha Ha Ha, beta aaj to phategi teri, PP ki combined lab hai....AP Chem waalo ke saath.... chupa le raha hai class!" Arjun said and ran like hell along with Mithilesh (They sometimes seem to be more than just friends!).

I stood up within a split of a second, picked my clothes off the floor, grabbed my bag and left for main academic area.(Without even brushing my teeth!)

Ever since I remember, I always manage to beat the time, weekdays or weekends, I'm always late, not more than 10 minutes. I have some innate ability to waste time.
I never get to eat breakfast, like majority of other "fashionably late" folks. This is the reason majority of the ex-fat asses here are as thin as me. I am so thin that I can't get any thinner, so breakfast or no breakfast, hardly shows on me, instead it shows on those elephants and rhinos (No hard feelings.... Morons!)!

After running faster than cheetah, I covered more than 1.5 Kms in just few minutes.

So...I reached the lab at the 4th floor in the main building .I was already late, it was 9:10 by his clock and he was giving pre-experiment Gyaan which possibly none of us had interest in. I tried to sneak in ,avoiding his eagle eyes; quickly taking my lab coat on and trying to mix in the group already present, from the back side.

"You! where have you been till now! Do you know how late you are?" He blared.

"sir....rrrr...sirrrrrr....... that lift ..sirrrrr......"

"what? ...lift?!!!!! "

"sir,that lift got jammed" I said referring to one of the lifts in the main building.

"jammed? why always your lift gets jammed? Can't you come up with some other better lie?" He said, coming at kissable distance from me.

Tell you this was torturous, he was notorious for his body odor,bad breath (My mouth is always fresh, even without brushing!) and what not. He used to literally spit on u when he talked! (Remember that prof. in Main Hoon Na?)

"sir,sorry.." I said trying to make an apologetic face which I was a master at, after all I had to do it all my way through school because of my naughty bones which for one reason or other always had me in positions where I had to pretend.

"sorry?... what sorry? this the way u r going to when u get a job? they will cut your pay or can even throw u out if u come late!" He said.

And after this he continued to give all the lectures on importance of time,punctuality. Somehow I was taking all that boring crap which almost every teacher in my life had told me on reaching late like in coaching classes,school and where not! It was the same crap. But anyways..I was to make serious and sincere face in front of the prof ..which i was doing ..But what was getting unbearable was the spray of bacterias ,the smell from his mouth..water droplets or say drops or dollops were hitting my face with great momentum ..and it felt like i had some serious folly by arriving late by 10 minutes in that lab and god(which does not exist) is punishing me for this cardinal sin!.... now..what happened is the group of friends (or call them bastards, rascals, assholes!!) who were standing behind the prof i.e. in front of me..were having a good time seeing me suffer, and they did what i always do when i see some one suffering, try and do something that will increase his suffering,tell u this is the way i am (since I'm here)..i've idolised the bad guys from joker to agent smith and molfoy to green goblin and Hitler,Genghis khan etc.)

Obviously they were not talented neither had any experience to increase my troubles in the best way..but they did fine..and they started making faces,enacting many dirty things too making some dirty signs at the prof..and it was impossible to control a giggle..and i began to giggle...

"what? is this a joke for u?" he said his eyes red in anger..

"no sir that" I said sensing that it's getting serious now.

"ok..let me let u see some real punishment now! we will meet in the disco!"

For the ones who don't know, disco is not the same disc
. Don't assume that khadoos prof has invited me to the nearest hip joint, to make me meet her beautiful daughter ,to know each other,as he finds me a good prospect for her, even if it were that, I wouldn't have married his daughter. Who wants to have a spitty father-in-law? it is DISCO - DISCIPLINARY COMMITTEE and u don't practice dance for hip-hop numbers if u have been invited to one.

As, i had known much about it earlier through seniors i knew what it can mean.

"Sir,sorry ..sorry...those ppl were making me laugh" i said pointing to those devils.
He moved around and scene changed ..they started reading from their manuals and discussing things ..faces so studious that i also disbelieved that just moments ago they were making me laugh.

I knew ,now am finished.he turned around and said "5:30 PM ,Senate room" and left me

A swarm of guys and gals came towards me surrounding me, consoling me and some people having fun in my moment of grief, telling me how bad it can get and all.... and there was Seerat. She didn't excite me (That Much ;)) this time because i was in deep trouble.

She came near and told those guys
"shut up!.. he is so much pain.." (I'm using pink, because it is the color of cute girls)
I was happy to see her sympathy and appreciated her caring nature and boldness to face the world on her own.

"come on ..
Hemant we need to talk to the prof" Taking my hand and getting me out of that crowd, her hands were the softest and the warmest thing I ever had touched..just imagine how much time it would have taken me to get to take her hand ? May be it was impossible.. but procrastination rocks ...I was holding her hand! or rather she was holding mine!!

Strange r the ways of destiny (Now, In which I believe!), I was ready to face DISCO if it included holding her hand!

More to come!! Stay Tuned!

No Spoliers from ISMiets please! Do not post it in comments section. It will ruin the fun for other readers!

An Apology!


Once upon a time there lived in woods,
a small rabbit who was very naive.
It assumed it knew everything,
the way of cunning world in which it was alive.

” Be friends with everyone”,
this is what it always believed in,
“Never hurt anyone”,
this is what it considered the biggest sin.

Despite these ideals,it did hurt many,
knowingly or the other way,
it couldnt bear the despise from any,
Which landed it on the grounds of grief and dismay.

The other animals didnt hate it,
nor did they love,
What pricked it the most then??,
it was adoration then,its a formality now.

how rude it is,
“to gain someone, you’d have to loose the other”.
Whats the point in being such a society,
Where friendship is such a bother!!

Rabbit grew smarter,
It learnt a lesson,
“Talk to everyone,
be friends to none”.

There is a rabbit in me now,
It has got into me somehow.
I confess I have started being skin-deep,
Its better for me than to cry and make others weep.

My First Crush @ ISM

Impossible it may seem, but I rarely fall for girls. But when I do, I do it completely. ISM is really rich in societies. We have societies for everything, you name it; we have it.Reading, writing, cooking, quiz, heck people were planning a society for porn! So it was first day on one such society. There were 100+ students in the meeting hall and everyone was asked to introduce themselves on a 6 by 6 stage. There was one idiot senior (read society president) who was asking people to come by turn. I was in the last row (As usual) and was busy with my mobile phone. I was finding those crappy mobile games interesting than ever, maybe because I had no option, because what was going on there was really killing me with its stupidity.

"Saale dekh, Phaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad hai!!" he said. Shaking me, trying to divert my attention to that girl. I was already pissed off by looking at the !@#$%^& faces of "intelligent" girls. I tried to ignore this information. I knew that "phaad hai" is not possible in ISM. That that asshole made me to look at her and


I was taken aback! I rewinded the crap I was passively listening to and played it again.

"Hi, my name is Seerat....hmmmmmmmm......... My hobbies are studying, reading and dancing.......I'm from chandigarh.......My AIR is 2xxx"

"Tell me she is not a student. Tell me she is a visitor, wait...... she said that her AIR is 2xxx....... Man this is not true!!" I said in astonishment.

"It is" he said.

I was not ready for shocks like these in ISM. A girl, like that, that too in ISM? Impossible!!

I had to pinch myself as I had known it is a way to check whether you are wake or in a dream. It hurt and I loved that feeling. We had a gal in ISM like her! wohaaaa!

To describe her to you all is something I would love to do.

* Long hair which were nicely tied.(I complimented her for this ,later)
* Glowing skin.
* EYES showing her innocence,sincerity and what not?
* Nice oval face,and a long nose, and all the other elements namely ears,nose were in place and making a combination that is worth a look (not once may be a thousand times)
* A nice height 5'6 approx.
* Sweet voice..that entered my heart!

May be the profs also liked her pristine beauty. They asked her all the stupid questions in the world, just trying to keep her for a longer time at the small stage where we students were giving our introduction.

And I kept clutching my teeth on how they were bothering that sweet girl.

More Later.... Stay tuned

Procrastination, A wonderful bliss!

What is common among Intellectually Gifted People (IQ>125), IITians, MITians, JEE Smashers, ACM Champions, Olympiad Champions,Vijay Mallya, Albert Einstein, Alan Guth, Nicholas Tesla?

Can't figure out? It is PROCRASTINATION!

I don't understand why people are so sentimental about time! If time management were of
such help why isn't everyone of them tycoon or something? Time management sucks, yet people
stick to it. Time management is ultimate trademark of an idiot.

Ever since I remember I always manage to beat time. No matter what I do, I am always late.
I have some innate capability to waste time, and I'm proud of it. I never did my homework
on time (if I did it at all), never appeared in examinations with full preparation, never
been to school on time (even after being vice head boy), always missed important dates,
pissed off my mates when I used to commute via van to my coaching classes, bunked most of
the classes, innumerable proxies, yet I'm at a place where most self-controlled time robots
couldn't make it, thanks to my exceptional ability to procrastinate.

Now some may ask, how LACK of time management helps?

It makes you smart:

Procrastination leaves you with loads of work to be done in short
amount of time. This optimizes you brain and gives you retention and intelligence of a
superhuman. You can perform variety of tasks with amazing accuracy and lightening speed. Thanks to great ability of human body to adapt.

You will never be disappointed:

You can't expect anything without hardwork, isn't it?
Procrastination is a door to eternal elation.

You will feel great:

Really, you feel amazing when you'll get a lot without doing a lot.

It makes you jugaadu:

Ask our very own Dhawal Pratap Singh(

You will have a lot of time do the things you really like:

Creative Writing, Programming, Mathematics whatever your interest maybe, you will have lots of time to do it.

Un-time management can get you the hottest chick in the college (even if it is IIT Kanpur). To know more stay tuned!